


Cause I Don’t Care When I’m With You

by neighborhoodwitch



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, M/M, famous merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neighborhoodwitch/pseuds/neighborhoodwitch
Summary: This started a song fic based off ‘I don’t care’ by JB, not sure what it turned into. It bled into an AU I just never built off and now we are here. Warning, mentions of drug addictions





	Cause I Don’t Care When I’m With You

Merlin stood in the corner fighting the temptation to collapse against the wall and take a nap. Instead, he lifted his drink to his mouth and took a sip. Don’t get drunk, Arthur had told him, this is very important to my father's company. He rolled his eyes to himself, wondering why he was even here.

Uther hates him and has done everything in his power to break them up, now he just settled for sharp jabs and looks of disdain. Arthur also knew that Merlin hated these parties, dressing up to watch him mingle and make connections with older people who just stared at Merlin. He knew all the headlines were rushing through their heads. All the scandals, all the rumors. He was Merlin Emrys, a musician more famous for his many trips to rehab than his music. Not that his music wasn’t good, they were a very popular band.

He would stand at Arthur’s left, a slight step behind, while he talked to an older woman with greying hair. She eyed him when he scratched his arm because the fabric was itchy. Or watched how much champagne he would drink. Once he pulled back the sleeve and someone jumped, actually jumped, Arthur politely ignore it but Merlin studied his arm. There was nothing there except some moles and freckles against his pale skin. What was that about?

He hated everyone here. He hated Uther and his stupid company. He had all his stupid colleagues who were all gross middle aged people who judged him. He hated how they whispered everytime he walked in on Arthur’s arm. Muttering about how it was unprofessional for them to be dating since Arthur was his lawyer. He wasn’t even his lawyer anymore, Merlin wasn’t even being charged with anything, he had been the one suing. They didn’t see the charges he was pressing against an ex band member. They saw ‘Merlin Emrys Seen Walking into a Courthouse’ and assumed it was him being charged.

He looked down at the empty flute. When had he finished it? Pushing himself off the wall he set it down at a random table as he made his way towards the bar, a place he was told to stay far away from. He wasn’t really sure why, he hadn’t been in rehab for alcohol, he could manage his alcohol. It was the drugs he needed to stay away from. To Arthur it all seemed one in the same.

He ordered a cocktail, at least the bartender didn’t seem opposed to making a drink, the young girl seemed to be a fan. She chatted with him, explain how to make the drink when he asked, winked as she handed it over. That was nice, it made him smile.

He retreated back to his corner after a couple minutes of trying to find Arthur amongst all the fake tan and botox. Nobody was looking at him, nobody cared what he did, so he tilted the cup and drained all of it and prayed the alcohol would hit him quick.

It didn’t.

He went back to the bar, winked at the bartender and she slid him another drink. As he tried to sip it he could tell she used a heavy pour and thanked whatever higher power there was as she poured him another. This went until he was really starting to feel it, he wasn’t sure if he could walk straight if he got up. Resolute to stay sitting he started up a conversation with Sefa, the bartender, that was until Arthur walked by.

He looked good. He always does, daily, it’s infuriating and Merlin loves it. In the dark fitted suit he wore, meant to compliment his own, but it’s not like they were seen together at all. He was entertaining and older women that practically draped herself around him. A spike of jealousy surged through him, not that he had anything to be jealous of but the stress and alcohol weren’t mixing well. Pushing himself up off the bar he started walking towards them, only stumbling a little.

Throwing his arms around Arthur’s waist the second he was in reach effectively dislodged the woman and she was not pleased at all. Good. Arthur was his boyfriend, he should be the one getting shown off, not this woman.

“Merlin.” Arthur sounded pleased. Oh no, he won’t be pleased once he learned Merlin was tipsy. Arthur won’t like that at all. “What are you doing?” Arthur smiles at him, any common sense he had went out the window.

“I hate being here.” He should have realized he was speaking too loudly, but he didn’t. “I hate wearing suits. Can we sneak out the back? I mean nobody here will even look at me. They all have so much shit to say about me. Somehow these old stuff wannabes make me feel bad, I’m literally so famous.” He was slurring his words, maybe he was drunker than he thought. But he wasn’t in control anymore and that was very bad.

He watched Arthur frown, of course he wasn’t pleased, he hated that Merlin always toed the line of relapsing. “Merlin,” He hissed, trying to attract as little attention as possible. “How about we step outside?”

“I don’t care what we do. You just gotta hold me like this some more. All those old people are so mean.” Arthur was quickly dragging him out but Merlin just sagged against him. “Why don’t we dance at these things? Or like drink more? Who decided that it’s so not appropriation for people to consume alcohol? Huh?” Arthur gave one last pull and Merlin stumbled out the heavy wood doors which slammed shut behind them, plunging them into silence.

He watched Arthur pinch his nose and take a deep breath, he was pissed. Merlin hopes he wouldn’t break up with him. “What… the fuck, Merlin? Why would you do that? You know how important this is! You can just scream that you hate everyone in there!”

“Who are you to yell at me?” He yelled back. “I’m Merlin fucking Emrys!” He threw his hand out and, thankfully, didn’t fall like he thought he would. Arthur ignored him.

“I take you too all these nice parties and all I ask is two things! Two things!” Merlin’s anger rose with Arthur’s voice, righteous anger clearly. “Don’t embarrass me! And stay sober! Why is that so hard!”

“Because these are the worst!” Everyone could definitely hear their row. “You knew what you were getting when my fucking case file landed on your desk! You knew when you took me out for drinks after I won! You know who I am, Arthur, and you know how much I hate these!”

“Oh I’m sorry I wanted my boyfriend to be a part of my work life!” Merlin was fuming now, he didn’t know how to explain it to Arthur. How every minute he spent at these parties made him want to jump down that dark hole he clawed his way out of.

“You should be! Stop stuffing me into dumb suits and making me pretend I’m part of this world! I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, Arthur! I fought to build my own fortune! I’m not some aristocratic asshole investor your dad wants to get on his knees for!” Arthur’s face was turning red, almost purple, much like Uther’s did around Merlin. He hoped they could all hear what he was saying, he wanted them to know what he thought of them as terrible as that is.

The door slammed opened to reveal a fuming Uther Pendragon and many shocked investors. It was hilarious. “Make. Him. Leave.” Uther snarled at Arthur, and in the ever constant rush to meet the expectation of his snake of a father, Arthur grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the hotel until the were shivering in the cold waiting for a Lyft.

“Oh who are you texting?” Arthur said bitterly. Why was he bitter? Merlin wasn’t sure, ir he was it’s because his father was furious, but he felt no real regret. All he did was say his truth, loudly.

“Cenred.” A terrible idea, but he was craving it right now. He needed magic like it was water. An all consuming pit opened up inside him during that row, it needed to be fed.

Arthur snatched the phone from his hand but it was too late, the message was already sent. “What are you thinking? Cenred is the last person you need to be texting, he is on trial. You put him there.”

“Yeah, well, I want a plug and he’s got the good ones. Gimme my phone back.” He tried to make a grab for it but Arthur stuck it in his pocket. “Oh so you wanna make this sexy? I’m good with that.” He stepped forward, but Arthur stepped back.

“That’s not what this is, this is me being concerned. I thought you were doing better?” He hated how soft and genuine Arthur sounded, he wanted to scream and rage and throw things. He hated the warmth that wrapped around him when he was with Arthur but also craves it more than anything.

“I-“ He didn’t want to talk about this. He wrapped his arms around his own thin frame, so frail now, and squeezed as if he was trying to hold back the flood of words. “It’s easier, when I’m with you. To forget about it. How badly I need it. Tonight I wasn’t with you… and it was hard.”

“Yes you were, I’m right here Merlin.” The sad thing was how sincere Arthur sounded, he didn’t understand, he couldn't research and argue a win in emotions.

“No, Arthur, you're not. You dont handle me with kid gloves, and I love you for that, but you also can't bring me so far out of my comfort zone then just abandon me” He grit his teeth, hating how weak he sounded. He hated how vulnerable Arthur made him want to be. His life was so simple before he decided to press charges against Cenred, and met Arthur.

"It's just a work party, Merlin. Don't be dramatic about it. They aren't that terrible." He stared at Arthur, mouth agape, wondering if he was just being an ass or if he was really this ignorant.

The Lyft pulled up and Arthur stepped forward to open the door. "I’m taking this one." His voice left no room for argument. "Hand over my phone, please." Arthur did so silently. He snatched the ringing device as he climbed into the car and snapped the door shut in Arthur's face, greeting Cenred as he did.

Fear filled Arthur's face as the car pulled away leaving him in the cold. But Merlin didn't see, he was too absorbed in the conversation to notice. He should have noticed, should have listened.

\- - -

_There was banging in the walls, people trying to get to him from all sides. "Merlin!" His name was ringing in a hundred different voices. Arthur, his mother, Gwaine, Lance, Gwen, his father. All screaming at him. He tried to take a step towards the door before he realized he was on the floor like he had fallen. When had he fallen? _

_He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was standing, but he still couldn't move to the door. There was a loud crash and wood splintered. Arthur was standing there in the remains of his front door. He ran, but not to Merlin. He just dropped to the floor._

_ Oh. _

_He had run to him. His body was there. On the floor. Getting cradled in his arms while Arthur spoke to somebody on the phone. Merlin couldn't hear, he conduct hear anything at all. Actually, his vision was getting fuzzy. It darkened until all he could see was black. Then, there was nothing._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this, i didn’t mean for it to get this heavy, i was just trying to break some writers block and post something and had this idea while getting my nails done


End file.
